A call to sound parental authority

By Diana Warnock

Diana Warnock spent years as an educator, first in the public school sector, and then starting and running an accredited Christian School. She has a passion to see parents raise children who become positive well-adjusted adults.

Every generation has a cultural message when it comes to raising children. In the 50’s/60’s a well-known psychologist “Dr. Spock” wrote a book on child rearing. Rumor is it promoted permissive parenting. Permissive parenting says no spanking, calling it ‘hitting’. This new doctrine produced the 60’s & 70’s hippies – rebellious, disrespectful, anti-establishment, spoiled rotten teens.

Instead of bringing equality and a democratic household it robbed parents of their authority and elevated the child above everyone and everything. Rumor is, Dr. Spock came out with another book after he had gotten married and had his own children. Rumor is the second book simply said, “I was wrong, you need to spank your children.’ Need I say more.

Comedian Sinbad had someone tell him, children should not be spanked. His response – “I can tell you have no kids!”

However, permissive parenting is not a thing of the past It is still alive and well. Parents schedule their lives around their child’s activities and bedtime. Parents serve their kids, giving them whatever they want to get them to behave, to even saying please to your child. Through my years of counseling, I’ve had to say to parents – stand up and be the parent, not the friend. Children need parents to teach them, guide them, mentor, and coach them to make wise decisions as they grow up. Friendship comes when they are grown.

A child-centered household can also be called ”KID CEO.” Sadly “KID CEO”, or this power structure has come to represent a large portion of households in America today. Edward VIII, Duke of Windsor, once observed this about American families: “The thing that impresses me most about America, is the way parents obey their children.” Out of order homes are producing out of order children.

The KID CEO household didn’t just show up overnight. Well-meaning parents turned away from conventional wisdom and started following permissive parenting persuaders like Dr. Spock.

PARENTING STYLES: Are you one of these or a combination?

1. The Gentle Parent

This has become a popular style today. Simply does not discipline the child. There is no consequence for anything they do wrong. We just ty to redirect so fits are not thrown. When fits are thrown, we just sit bay and waste our time, make us late to appointments, etc., until the child finally cooperates, could be 5 min. up to 2 hrs. Wowza

1. The EMT Parent

These parents are experts at rescuing their children from every problem, scrape or conflict.

Not encouraging independence, so fostering a chronic dependence, with no personal responsibility. Nothing is the child’s fault. These kids govern family activities and decisions.

They become spoiled, sassy, and rebellious children.

3. The NCAA Parent

Common in today’s competitive culture, parents push kids to be super athletes, world famous actors, high power doctors and lawyers. Living their unfulfilled dreams through their kids. Pushing at all costs. They might say, “I’m going to push my kids to be exceptional even if it kills me.” Not just being an encourager but being hard, unrelenting, and rigid.

4. The YMCA Parent

The “buddy system” was invented by the YMCA. Adopted by Alphabet soup parenting style.

Let’s just be friends. I just want to be one of the gang. Friendship is not our goal as parents – it is a benefit of a job done right. Hang out, spent time, be involved but don’t lose sight of the fact that you are the parent and you are modeling authority to them.

5. The Ph-D Parent

These parents are over thinkers. They try to reason with their kids to compromise. They treat their kids like little adults. In their attempt to reason and psychoanalyze, they morph into permissive parents (Dr. Spock). Children live in this little universe called ME.

6. The Helicopter Parent

Is one that continues to hover over their children even as teens and adults. They have been known to decide the child’s college, major, and even go with them to their first interview for a job.

Problem is none of these are good.

The family power struggle is yours to win! You must choose to be the parent. In charge, the authority. To teach a child to be self-disciplined and independent (the goal of parenting, preparing them to be a responsible and respected adult) you must find the balance between the “Do as I say” generation with harsh discipline and no explanation or reasoning OR the permissive parents who draw no boundaries and have no consequences. These parents let kids run their household and them. It is exhausting, no fun and the reward is rebellious, disrespect, and usually unsuccessful adults expecting society to do everything for them and the way they want it.

I’ve written a simple little booklet to help parents… parent! I give both Biblical guidance and practical suggestions on what healthy discipline does and does not look like. I would love to just give it to you, but Amazon does not give me that option, so I made it as inexpensive as possible. You can click here to purchase.